


Stay Where You Are

by nuuboo (orphan_account)



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 17:16:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4230189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/nuuboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>lazy evenings, sleepy dogs, and little confessions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay Where You Are

“I’ve come to have feelings for you,” said Iruka abruptly. Kakashi, who had become engrossed in brushing Guroko’s fur, looked up with an unreadable expression. For a heavy few seconds, neither spoke; Kakashi canted his head a fraction of an inch in a manner Iruka had long since come to understand as a silent indication to continue speaking, and Iruka stared tiredly at the dogs around and between them on the living room floor. “I’m sure you’ve read enough of your novels to know what it is I’m talking about, so I won’t waste time explaining things. That’s how it is.”  


Kakashi’s gaze flicked from Iruka to the closed copy of Icha Icha Paradise on the nearby coffee table; it was only for a beat, but Iruka noticed, and took it s an indication that the sudden turn of the otherwise fragmented conversation had gotten Kakashi’s attention. He felt diplomatic in his approach, despite the nature of the topic; was it a case of nerves, then, that made him adopt a humourless tone and a severe expression? It seemed, somehow, that he was telling a parent of their child’s indiscretions rather than admitting romantic feelings to the object of his recent affections, and he thought then that he’d walked into the situation poorly. But it didn’t matter, in the end–he’d set himself up for failure from the very beginning, hadn’t he? Saying such a thing to such a person would’ve amounted to nothing positive. Every young woman temporarily infatuated with the likes of Hatake Kakashi knew it; it explained his popularity, yet surprising lack of chocolates on Valentine’s Day. _I should’ve escaped when I had the chance._  

“I understand that hearing this is… inconvenient for some, but I thought it best to be upfront about it. You deserve that much for everything you’ve done for me–and I’m not talking about helping me clean the Academy’s storage room last week, as much as I appreciated it.” Kakashi had resumed brushing the dog, using slow, careful strokes with considerable concentration. If Iruka didn’t know better, he’d have thought he was being ignored. Another of the ninken settled its head atop Iruka’s thigh, and Iruka let his hand rest comfortably atop its head. “I don’t need an answer to my feelings. The only thing I’d like to request… is that you let me know now if this is going to be troublesome for you. Things aren’t like they are in books or movies–there’s no fireworks, or dramatic confessions, or butterflies in our stomachs. Not in our line of work, anyway. Not for us. There’s only the raw fact that I’ve come to like you–to like being with you–more than I should, and that’s something I can deal with on my own. We’re not civilian kids with the freedom to relish in this idle pastime; we only have the day we’re living, because our futures are never certain, never guaranteed. That’s why… I felt that I should say something. I felt that I owed it to you, but–more than that, I felt I owed it to myself to say something– _anything_ –so that… one day, I’ll say that I’ve had no regrets. That’s how it is, so–so–…”  


His bravado crumbled in seconds, and Iruka stared pointedly at the dog in his lap, snoozing happily without half a care for the conversation happening around it.  _What would it be like to be a dog? Probably very nice, I think. No worries, no stress, no regrets…_

Guroko stood suddenly, and walked off in search of water. Kakashi, with no dog left to brush and nothing to occupy himself with, found it a good a time as any to say something for the first time since Iruka’s severe, eulogy-like speech. “Having feelings for someone… I’ve never experienced it. And the dogs like you.” Iruka stared blankly, eyebrow raised, but said nothing in response to the two statements that, to him, had absolutely nothing to do with each other. “The dogs like you, so… I’m glad for your company. I don’t know about returning those feelings, and I don’t know whether it’s troublesome or not, but I do know that your cooking is good, and your temper is interesting, and your home is too cluttered for its size. 

We don’t have a future we can hope for. Shinobi live in the present–and some… live in the past. But for us, only some can love, and others can barely fathom the concept. It would be better for you to find someone more like yourself. But to tell you such a thing–you’re too stubborn to listen.” Kakashi stared intently at a crack in the wall across the room, and wondered if it had gotten bigger since the last time he looked. “…feelings or none, whatever it is, stay where you are.” 

Iruka wondered at the last statement– _Stay where I am? What, on the floor?_ –but remained respectfully silent for the appropriate few seconds. That, he thought, was probably the most amount of words Kakashi had ever said all at once without the situation being some form of oral presentation.  _A small victory, if nothing else. He probably… thought a lot about what to say, even though he looks unreliable._

“Hey,” said Kakashi, and the suddenness of Kakashi holding out his hand startled Iruka from his thoughts. “If Akino’s on your lap, it’s because he wants you to brush him. Take this and do it properly. Only in one direction, mind–or the fur gets matted.” 

Taking the brush, Iruka began as instructed, and thought that he didn’t mind the idea of a blank future if the present remained like this. 


End file.
